When I became a mother, I pushed my dreams of law school and becoming a Supreme Court Judge to the side. After, I had my second child I figured that I would continue my education when she turned two years old, but to my surprise I was pregnant by the time she was three months old and remained pregnant for the next three years. I began to doubt if I would ever return to school.
I found myself resenting my my life and being a stay at home mom. The letters to repay student loans began to pour in and I was did not have a job because I had decided to stay at home and raise child. "The nerve of me", I thought to myself. This could not possibly be a good idea. My husband assured me that I was doing the best thing for our children and that in the end it would all pay off.
For the next three years as the babies kept coming, I remained at home with the kids not because I didn't want a job but because we couldn't afford childcare for four children under the age of five. Then, in August when I gave birth to my fifth child something clicked. I felt a little happier about the added responsiblity. I didnt know what it was maybe post partum in reverse but it was a difference in how I felt about my family and my life as it was.
Our oldest started kindergarten and my three year old started preschool. Along with school days not my son decided he wanted to learn to play the piano and my daughter wanted to be a real life ballerina. I gave birth two weeks before all of this began. I thought I would be out of my mind to have taken on such a task. When the time came I planned ahead with packed snacks for the younger kids and activity books while we waited for each lesson to begin and end.
In December, my husband and I took a five day cruise for our wedding anniversary and we were leaving the kids with my in-laws. My mother in law asked to write the baby daily routine down for her. I found myself typing and typing and when I finished I had wrote a page on each child and what could be expected from them even the oldest wanting to sleep in the living room on the weekends. After I was done, I did not think much of it I emailed it to my mother in law. She called and said that she was amazed at how detailed the instruction sheet was and at that moment I knew that was the reward my husband was speaking of; the reward of knowing everything about your children.
I found the reward of being a stay at home mom after five years of doing this day in and day out. I realized that I had an advantage. a close friend of mine gave birth shortly after me and had to return to work after six weeks which dramatically affected her milk supply but I was still successfully nursing my daughter. I realized that I have never had to be informed of something new my children were doing because I have been there for every moment, so I loosen my grip on the halls of justice and tightened my grip on the success of my family and decided to do what I really loved cooking and writing. I am in the process of starting a small bakery and catering company called CRUMBS Bakery and Catering Co. and I have started penning my new book Only Paper Understands.
It took me some time to realize the blessing in being a stay at home mom, but my advice to you if you have the opportunity to stay at home and raise your children its a good thing. You kids will soon grow and be independent enough for you to do whatever your heart desires. So open your eyes because your happiness could be right in front of your eyes.
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